September 16, 2012 by blogmasterjdeam
OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE!
Remember that phrase from your childhood games of hide and seek? It meant, if you were still hiding you got to come out in the open, be seen and not be out. What a great concept for life.
Today is called my ALL MY MISTAKES, ALL MY MISTAKES, OXEN FREE! Today I will forgive myself for each and every mistake I have ever made in my entire, live-long life. I will give a huge sigh of relief and tell myself I am out in the open and I’m not out of the game. I will open the trap door to the “stupid things said” box and free all the bats. I will declare to each and every being I ever hurt: I AM SORRY! I hope you have forgiven me for making such a huge, giant ass mistake, and NOW, finally, at last and in just the nick of time, I will forgive me.
It is such a huge relief to finally say: I was wrong. I made a mistake. For me, the first time I said those words (and really meant them) was through tears. I had done something so unforgivable I didn’t expect to be forgiven. It took me many years, and a hand written letter, to finally get it all out in the open, to tell the person I had harmed those words. It was so cleansing and I was filled with great love for myself for finally doing what I had known for a long time, needed to be done. I received a heartfelt letter back in return. It was a letter of forgiveness I will always treasure.
The inability to admit to our mistakes, to apologize for them to the people we have harmed, and then to finally apologize to ourselves for the flogging we put ourselves through, is a big impediment on the road to happiness.
Imagine your mistakes in the form of a boulder, and you, the Greek Mythological character Sisyphus. Sisyphus is condemned, for eternity, to push the boulder up the mountain only to have it roll back down.
This is what happens to us with our boulder of mistakes. We are forever pushing them out of our minds only to have them roll back down on top of us, usually when we least expect it or need it. So here is what I say: draw a line. From this moment forward, all mistakes are acknowledged, forgiven and FORGOTTEN. The only purpose of keeping them around is so we don’t make the same one twice. I’m pretty sure I got that part down. I hope you did too.
The last week has been a low energy one for me. I have done no running and minimal asana. I have done pranayama and meditation, but today I’m ready to really hit it again. I have set aside an entire hour for asana and will incorporate my breathing techniques into my asana practice.
From Mountain pose: inhale, lifting arms all the way up, slight back bend, exhale, hands to the toes (forward fold.) Inhale flat back, exhale, forward fold. Inhale, right leg back followed by the left, exhale, chatarangadandasana. Inhale, upward facing dog, exhale, downward facing dog. Inhale, right foot comes forward, exhale, left foot comes forward. Inhale, exhale in forward fold. Inhale, bringing arms all the way up, exhale, hands to heart in prayer position. Then onto the other side, left foot back first, etc. I will follow my breath instead of letting my breath lead. I will lose myself in the repetition of the moves, letting my mind be free to follow my breath.
From there I will work on my seated pose: Dandasana. Proper alignment in seated pose is very important. I will follow with a shoulder stand and a twist before heading to sivasana.
May each and everyone of us be enriched with forgiveness, Chris