100 Days of Yoga, Day 52


October 12, 2012 by blogmasterjdeam

Another layer of the onion:

About ten years ago, while in a very relaxed state — something akin to hypnotherapy, called Attunement — I had one of those dreams where you aren’t really asleep.

As some of you know, my mother died five days after my daughter, Olivia, was born.  This was in June, l978.  It was an extremely difficult time in my life.  In addition to the death of my mother, my father-in-law, of whom I was quite fond, also died (On May 1st.)  Because I was a new mother, and an exhausted and depressed one at that, I didn’t mourn either death.  I thought I could just pick up and keep moving forward.  It turns out I couldn’t actually do that.

The awake dream went like this:  I was on a beach.  I felt the warmth of the sun and the breeze coming in off the ocean.  I heard the waves.  I was sitting in lotus position looking at the ocean as my mother walked up to me.  I was filled with great joy.  We hugged and kissed and held each other, then we went into the water and floated together, and we simply sunk into the whole love fest.  There was no conversation.

After a bit, we got out of the water and started walking down the beach together holding hands.  At a certain point, my mother dropped my hand and indicated I needed to stay behind.  She walked on down the beach and disappeared.  I then saw my daughter coming toward me from behind.  She and I hugged and kissed as well, holding each other in that deep love that mother and child share.

Olivia and I began walking down the beach together holding hands, just as my mother and I had done.  At a certain point we stopped.  I let go of Olivia’s hand and looked down the beach where my granddaughter, Julia was waiting for Olivia.  I kissed my daughter farewell and let her walk on ahead to meet her daughter.

I didn’t understand the beauty of the dream for a very long time, but now I do.  This emotion of love is like no other: it transcends time and space.  It is not linear.  It is all one love.

Are you looking for me?

Are you looking for me? I am in the next seat. 
My shoulder is against yours.
you will not find me in the stupas, not in Indian shrine
rooms, nor in synagogues, nor in cathedrals:
not in masses, nor kirtans, not in legs winding
around your own neck, nor in eating nothing but

When you really look for me, you will see me
instantly —
you will find me in the tiniest house of time.

Kabir says: Student, tell me, what is God?
He is the breath inside the breath.






One thought on “100 Days of Yoga, Day 52

  1. Joan Shumway says:

    Thank you, Chris. J.

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