100 Days of Yoga, Day 57

2

October 17, 2012 by blogmasterjdeam

Blog 56, because writing it became so arduous, left a big impact on me.  It felt like a turning point.  I spoke of this in an earlier blog: when we are ready to learn something, the teacher will appear.  I was ready to learn something.

Today I can see how important it is to deconstruct in order to construct properly.  I can also see I am not alone in this lack of self-awareness on the inside versus totally-got-my-shit-together on the outside appearance.  I think that is why we change partners, houses, cars, jobs, appearances and handbags so often.  If we don’t know who we are on the inside, we are forever defining ourselves by what’s on the outside.

This matters because?  We all have Karma to burn off.  Karma, I think, is a difficult concept for us Westerners to fully grasp.  I think of it like what ye sow, so shall ye reap, only over not just this lifetime, but many.  When bad things are happening to us, it is the difference between being a “victim” and taking responsibility for earlier actions.  Karma is taking responsibility for earlier actions.  It is, therefore, quite impossible to curse our fate, or regret our past actions.  All we have left is absolute acceptance and the desire to not create anymore Karma.

So we examine the inner life, looking into every thought, word and deed and making sure they really are in alignment.  We clean out the cobwebs, accept what is and continue the work of Sauca (purity.)  We learn to pay attention to what the small inner voice is telling us, and block the large outer voice known as ego.  I do this by making sure my actions feel right.  If I say YES to something, but my stomach or head hurts, I know what I am saying yes to is something I need to be saying NO to.  Someday I hope to automatically know this — for the alignment to occur organically.  But for now, I need to pay attention to how a decision actually feels.

In Silence

Be still.
Listen to the stones of the wall.
Be silent, they try
To speak your

Name.
Listen
To the living walls.
Who are you?
Who
Are you? Whose
Silence are you?

Who (be quiet)
Are you (as these stones
Are quiet). Do not
Think of what you are
Still less of
What you may one day be.
Rather
Be what you are (but who?) be
The unthinkable one
You do not know.

O be still, while
You are still alive,
And all things live around you
Speaking (I do not hear)
To your own being,
Speaking by the Unknown
That is in you and in themselves.

“I will try, like them
To be my own silence:
And this is difficult. The whole
World is secretly on fire. The stones
Burn, even the stones
They burn me. How can a man be still or
Listen to all things burning? How can he dare
To sit with them
When all their silence
Is on fire?”

~ Thomas Merton ~

I found an excellent yoga teacher: Jackie, at Yoga Junction (Louisville, CO.)  I went to my first class with Jackie today and it was exactly what I needed: heart opening.  Even sivasana was perfect: one of my favorite pieces of music.

“Trust in the Great Spirit, but row away from the rocks.”
~ Mike Janeczko

Yours, while wondering if the work on myself might be contagious, Chris

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2 thoughts on “100 Days of Yoga, Day 57

  1. Joan Shumway says:

    So glad you are home safe and have found a yoga teacher you like. Love to you, Joan

  2. YAY! I love that you are coming to class – thanks for the link, great writing, absolutely wonderful and inspirational! big hug

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