100 Days of Yoga, Day 82

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November 11, 2012 by blogmasterjdeam

Here are some more things I’ve noticed on my journey. I am more tolerant, accepting, understanding, and yes, even loving, of my fellow humans. I’ve been through the period of learning to put my needs first (you can’t give what you don’t have) and can now actually give without resentment or anger. I can stand in someone’s shoes and feel the pain they are in and offer comfort from a place of empathy. Because the hole in me has been filled, I can reach out to another – not someone I even know personally – and share the love I have within me. I can give comfort in the storm now. I couldn’t before, because I was the one who needed the comfort.

I can “be enough.” This is a big thing for me. I have spent most of my life feeling not good enough. I have felt unworthy of love. I have felt my value was in the work I performed. I couldn’t see how my mere existence was enough. I couldn’t understand how I could be loved just as I was. And I couldn’t see that, all along, it was me waiting to uncover the illusion: of course I am loved – I AM LOVE!

It was my thoughts, always my thoughts, that clouded my vision. At some point, we mature enough to stop blaming others for who we are and we step up to the plate and take responsibility. We finally realize, fully and completely, we are responsible for our own lives. We can’t blame our parents, our spouses, or even the government. We are who we are because of the choices we’ve made. And, this is a big one, our fate is not determined by our astrological chart. We took this birth to learn something. If we are still stuck in the place of poor me-ness, we can’t get down to work. Plus, give me a break – really?

Our dharma is to find the job, the spouse, the children who further are path. When we are doing the job we were born to do, we are happy. We know when we are doing something that doesn’t feed our soul. We’re the ones who turn the alarm clock off a dozen times before we get out of bed, chronically show up late for work, grumble and complain the whole time we’re there. If you found you’re life’s work, yeah for you. If not, well, the clocking is ticking.

And then we reach the point of retirement. Many think this is the time for complete self-indulgence or, worse, the time when others will take care of us, where it is our due to ride on someone’s back. I believe this is wrong and worse, I believe it doesn’t further our path. I think when we reach this age, we have a responsibility to give back to those who will follow us. Our responsibility is to pay forward love. I believe as we age, it is our job to learn to completely embody love and then to give ourselves away to others, in the form of love, until we simply disappear.

Whatever the question, love is always the answer.

 

Unquestionably yours, Chris

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